Jyll's Zen Lounge

It’s said patience is a virtue and though I completely agree, it just may be a contributing factor to happiness and health.

We all, at times, could stand to have a little more patience.

I’m going to let you in on a little experiment I have been conducting.
First let me fill you in. My husband works from home several days a week. I currently, travel daily to work at my company’s head office. Generally when I get home from work and enter the kitchen to unload my lunch bag and wash my dishes, there sits my husband’s lunch dishes on the counter next to the sink, or in the sink. First I think this is rude and inconsiderate for the next person that needs to use the kitchen, because now that person has to work around the previous person’s mess. This would frustrate me to no end. I would get mad and give him attitude and my reaction would set a negative tone. Then I would feel guilty about my reaction. Granted, he will do his dishes, but on his own timeline. I have played the game to see how long they sit there and that would just frustrate me more.

Hence, I decided I would try another tactic. My new experiment is I come home, see said dirty dishes on the counter, and instead of reacting negatively, I take a deep breath, find patience and acceptance of the situation (maybe even find a silver lining; I have a husband that loves me and has a job that is providing for us) then I would wash my dishes and since I am right there at the sink doing dishes, I simply just wash his as well.
I have been doing this now for several weeks. My findings you ask?. There are no more negative feelings, anger or unpleasant moments in the evening. I feel more peaceful… and I have even noticed that he now does dishes a little bit more.

Our patience is tried by many people in our lives on a daily basis. And it’s generally because a person is not living to your timeline or behaving how you deem appropriate.
There are many examples of this:

• When we are frazzled waiting in line at the grocery store because our to do list is waiting.
• When a child is holding you up due to their shenanigans
• When a significant other is not acting in accordance to what you deem is correct
• When you are stuck in a traffic jam

The list can go on and on.
The lessons I am learning from my little experiment and also by incorporating patience in other areas of my day are:

• Taking a few deep breaths before reacting definitely helps
• Finding a little silver lining in the situation makes you feel gratitude (which vibrates much higher than feelings of anger, frustration, and resentment)
• It makes you happier, more accepting and definitely more pleasurable for others to be around you
• It helps release resentment and or anger that may build up over time due to lack of patience
• And simply put; it makes you a better person: for those in your lives but also to yourself

So wow!! How amazing is that?! I’m not saying you cannot be annoyed, or have pangs of pain or misfortune, but practicing patience is perhaps experiencing the annoyance or provocation without complaining, frustration, and anger. Everyday we are put in situations that try our patience. The question is, “How do you respond?
Many of my girlfriends have told me that I am an extremely patient woman. Perhaps my man was put in my life for me to learn to build such patience. I mean, I patiently waited to marry the love of my life for 10 years! But in retrospect, I wouldn’t change a thing. I love our love story.
Patience truly is an action of love.

Zenfully yours,

Jyll